Season 6 Episode 28: The Legend of My Science Project
Here we are back again tumbling through another couple of movies that I had nestled away on my shelf for way too goddamn long. Hi. This is Chris, and we are Cinematic Anarchy. And with me today, my cohost, miss b.
Miss Bee:Hello.
El Jefe:And, I should have mentioned your name long before that. See, when you do the peace sign, the this the last time too. So, yeah, there's a whole handful of hand signals, I guess, that if you if you put up your your thumbs up or there's, there's a one for fire. There's you gotta hold it there for a while, though. So you gotta yeah.
El Jefe:It looks awkward after a few minutes. Right? You can do the heart. I I don't yep. See?
El Jefe:And then heart
Miss Bee:There it goes. We did this last time.
El Jefe:Yeah. We're we're getting distracted. This is the ADHD portion of the podcast. We're getting it out of the way right now. And today, we're gonna be doing something a little different.
El Jefe:Hopefully, we can try to get into some more things like this, maybe a little bit more in-depth because today, we are going to put our pedal to the metal and speed right the fuck through both of these films. Today, we're gonna be talking about the legend of Billie Jean starring Helen Slater and Christian Slater. Yeah. And we're going to be talking about a movie called my science project starring John
Miss Bee:impossible to fucking find anywhere.
El Jefe:Well, I got the, Kino Lober Blu ray for it. So I had it like here, but I didn't think, like, when I was picking out these films, is it easily accessible to the Nico? I didn't think. Yeah. It's all good.
El Jefe:We found it on
Miss Bee:Found a copy.
El Jefe:We found it on Dailymotion. I have like backup places to find weird obscure films. Sometimes people upload it to YouTube. There's a place called archive. There is, of course, Daily Motion.
El Jefe:There's all sorts of places to find sort of weird, obscure, out of the way things that don't currently have any Blu ray releases. I guess my science project no longer being sold. I was looking it up, and it's like, $85 for the DVD now, secondhand. I'm like, oh.
Miss Bee:Jesus Christ.
El Jefe:Hey. It's nice to know I got money just sitting on my shelf there.
Miss Bee:Yeah. That's better lighting. I turned.
El Jefe:And, of course, my science project is starring John Stockwell, Fisher Stevens, and Dennis Hopper for a short period of time doing his regular unhinged Dennis Hopper thing. We're gonna start. Oh, and, of course, we're gonna wrap up this particular episode. I'm trying to keep my track going. Keep on the right track.
El Jefe:My brain is going off into left field here.
Miss Bee:Good luck.
El Jefe:Yeah. No. So the whole idea here is that we're gonna discuss both films, and at the end, we're going to pitch a mashup of the two films as a sequel. So, basically, characters from one film, characters from the other film, ideas from both films, and see what the fuck we come up with. Yeah.
El Jefe:Starting with the legend of Billie Jean, Have you had any history with this film? Have you seen this film before? No.
Miss Bee:Not at all. So I can but I enjoyed it a lot.
El Jefe:I think it holds up. Like, unlike my science project, this holds up. This film
Miss Bee:was great.
El Jefe:So I got to I got to sit down with the whole fam. They actually all wanted to watch that. I was like, let's watch both films together. They're like, yeah, we'll watch the engine of Billie Jean. Yeah.
El Jefe:Why not the other one? I don't wanna. So
Miss Bee:Yeah. Bird Gene was definitely like much better than my science project.
El Jefe:They're very, very different films. Also have some very toxic characters in both films.
Miss Bee:Oh, yeah.
El Jefe:Like, feel like Fisher Stevens' character from, My Science Project would have fit in with Hubie in this film very easily.
Miss Bee:Definitely.
El Jefe:His kind of a misogynistic, he had the macho Brooklyn thing going on. Like, in his head, he was just like, hey, you know, women in my area, if I if they ever talk to me like that, you know, boom. And I'm like sitting here like, oh, that's what you're taking from your dad popping women in the face when they talk back to you? Oh, okay. Yeah.
Miss Bee:My dad says that women like to be disrespected. Alright. And what does your mom say? I don't know. They divorced.
El Jefe:Yeah. So we're not even talking about my science project yet, but let's be honest. Fisher Stevens got all the good lines in that film.
Miss Bee:Facts.
El Jefe:So I feel like him
Miss Bee:and Potter would be great together.
El Jefe:Legend of Billie Jean is a revenge flick of sorts. Helen Slater, Christian Slater, not related, by the way, play Billie Jean.
Miss Bee:I was gonna ask.
El Jefe:They're not related.
Miss Bee:That's silly. That's They have to at least be cousins.
El Jefe:Nope. Not even remotely related.
Miss Bee:That's wrong, and they lied.
El Jefe:I had to look it up afterwards because for the longest time, I thought they were related. I kind of put them in the same thing. Like, this gotta be, like, brother and sister or cousins or, like, one is, like, the sister-in-law and the other one
Miss Bee:way they look that similar, have the exact same hair and eyes, and they're not fucking related with the same goddamn last name. Fuck you. You can't tell me otherwise.
El Jefe:They're divorced.
Miss Bee:I'll die on that hill.
El Jefe:They're divorced. No? No. I was just saying like, I really feel like we're missing something there. Are you going through your, iPod or AirPods again?
El Jefe:Yes. Is it
Miss Bee:hitting my hair?
El Jefe:Well, it does that thing like it has the, no. So one of the things with the microphone on the, AirPods is that when you're
Miss Bee:talking In and out?
El Jefe:It goes in and out. So like when you start speaking, it's low because it's recognizing that you're talking and it's yeah. I'm guessing it's a feature that turns off the mic so that you're not wasting battery. So occasionally you fade out. Did you just put them in?
El Jefe:No. I think, you know what, this is also the series.
Miss Bee:Yeah. For the episode. Yeah. Wait. Hang on.
Miss Bee:Let me see. Where's my fucking thingy thing?
El Jefe:See, it doesn't it doesn't do it all the time, but we can just we can talk legend of Billie Jean while we're trying to figure out the audio issues. We'll we'll We'll get it taken care of. Legend of Billie Jean stars Helen Slater and Christian Slater as Billie Jean and Binks Davy, a, brother and sister. I I believe this is in Texas, if I'm not mistaken.
Miss Bee:I think
El Jefe:so. I saw a lot of Texas license plates, so I'm gonna guess Florida. Yes. Maybe.
Miss Bee:Probably.
El Jefe:So it's a brother and sister trailer park trash kind of thing that they had going on there. They were dreaming of of the the Great White North and all the snow that they could muster. I got we don't like the heat. We don't like the alligators. We want to live in the snow, which, you know, Binks definitely regrets by the end of the film.
El Jefe:Like, you didn't tell me it was going to be this fucking cold.
Miss Bee:Yeah. And then he sees the snowmobile.
El Jefe:Snowmobile that looks exactly like his scooter. Yep. Like, I just think he likes that look. The red kind of scooter front. He's like, oh, yeah.
El Jefe:Far out.
Miss Bee:Yeah. Right? I like to go fast.
El Jefe:Billy Jean and Binks, they come across Hubie and his buddies. Basically, Hubie steals his scooter, and that is when hijinks ensue.
Miss Bee:Won't give him a chance.
El Jefe:No. But well, Billy I don't I don't know if you can call that giving a chance. Billy, Hubie and his father are kind of the same person. Yeah. Like, they seem like the kind of he doesn't wanna be given a chance.
El Jefe:He just wants to basically force himself on her and have her submit. Because that's how that whole thing was.
Miss Bee:Far from the tree.
El Jefe:Like, he was in her face at that gas station before, I
Miss Bee:think walked up and was like, oh, fuck you.
El Jefe:Fuck you. Douses him with the well, it was supposed to be a strawberry milkshake, but that was definitely vanilla.
Miss Bee:Absolutely. Was definitely pink in
El Jefe:it. No pink at all. So they doused him with that and they get their revenge by stealing Binks's, scooter while they're at the watering hole swimming. Kind of a creepy closeness between these two.
Miss Bee:Yeah. I was never that close with my sibling growing up.
El Jefe:I don't know. I I occasionally run across siblings that were about the same age that were kind of close, but there's a level of closeness that makes you just go, I don't know if it should be that close.
Miss Bee:Yeah. Whatever. It was it was all friendly and platonic.
El Jefe:Of course, I'm gonna hack and cough for a minute here. Alright. Drink some water. Moving on. And that's when the high drinks ensue.
El Jefe:Basically, Christian Slater goes to get his scooter back, and she goes to the cops. Basically, she knows that Binks is gonna get hurt. She's like, no. I need you to intervene. I need you to step in.
El Jefe:Cop does not intervene at all. And that is the big misstep in the film. That's what sets everything off because she decides, well, if you're not gonna help me, you're not gonna listen to me. Then I'm gonna help out. The living hell beaten out of him.
El Jefe:Fair is fair. I want my $608, you know, to fix the scooter that Hubie fucked up, like, destroyed.
Miss Bee:And then all Pappy fucking like, I don't don't carry that kind of money in the register, takes her upstairs into their home that the I guess their their house is, like, above the store.
El Jefe:Yeah. So pay as you go, earn as you learn. He was basically gonna try
Miss Bee:to get to work. Rape her for their money.
El Jefe:I think that he was hoping not to rape her, but that she again, like Hubie.
Miss Bee:Try to buy her.
El Jefe:Yes. I think that he basically was treating her like he he wanted to possess her. Not not so much a I'm not saying that it wouldn't have progressed to
Miss Bee:teenagers. That's rape.
El Jefe:Yeah. Well, she's yeah. She's a kid. No matter what, even if he paid her and she submitted, that's still rape. Yeah.
El Jefe:So and
Miss Bee:But daddy who?
El Jefe:At that point, Banks had gotten in there, was like, okay. Well, if she didn't get the money, I'm getting my money out of the register.
Miss Bee:And finds
El Jefe:steal the money, finds a gun. And, Piet, is that what his name was? The the father? Mr. Piet.
El Jefe:Mr. Piet. He comes in and basically says that you I wouldn't leave a loaded gun in the register. Put the gun down. Using his sister as a shield, basically, standing behind her.
El Jefe:Now, obviously, you can tell that he knows that there's bullets in that gun. Otherwise, why would he put her up in front like a shield? Yeah. It's like, oh god. This guy's gonna shoot me.
El Jefe:Well, he's gonna have to shoot through his sister to get at me. And Christian Slade was just checking out the gun. Like, okay. There's no bullets in this. And what I guess to test it, he pulls the trigger and shoots mister Pye at anyway?
Miss Bee:Yeah. It's
El Jefe:if there was no bullets in the gun, you're decided I'm gonna point it that way. Mind you, this is after he pointed it at his own face while he was checking out the gun the first time. Like, he pointed at himself and then yeah. One way or another, he was gonna shoot himself or shoot this guy. This kid should never have firearms.
Miss Bee:No. Never. And the whole movie, he's carrying fucking different guns.
El Jefe:Where does he keep getting these They're toys. Back then, they didn't have the little orange cap on the toys to make it so that you couldn't tell that you could tell that it was an actual toy. So you could buy fake guns from the store that looked like real guns. So people were getting, like, held up with toy guns and people were getting shot because they had toy guns. And so eventually they had to put a regulation in place like, no, if you're going to make toy guns, you need to put that fluorescent orange cap on it so that people know this is a fake.
El Jefe:So back then people were getting shot because of stupid. You know, you're dumb. Let's go buy a toy and hold up a liquor store.
Miss Bee:So So smart.
El Jefe:I want to know where these guns are now. Like, are people still using toy guns to hold people up?
Miss Bee:I mean, I wouldn't be surprised.
El Jefe:Can you buy
Miss Bee:like Somewhere.
El Jefe:Like an antique toy gun just to hold the place up?
Miss Bee:Hey. Let's not give people ideas.
El Jefe:Yeah. That mean I'm I'm sure they've had the idea long before I even
Miss Bee:Do a Tesla dealership. What?
El Jefe:Pose the question. Hey. No. No. You I'm not even gonna get into that.
El Jefe:We'll talk about we'll we'll talk about that later. Don't, Ew. That's no. No. I I do not condone that kind of just don't buy it.
El Jefe:You don't have to destroy it. Just don't buy it. You know?
Miss Bee:Dietkeed.
El Jefe:There's a lot of things that you can do to protest. I don't believe I I personally don't believe in just destroying shit. I get that that's their way of protesting, but I don't
Miss Bee:I like breaking stove, but Yeah. Anyhoos.
El Jefe:You're breaking the wrong things then. You are.
Miss Bee:True.
El Jefe:Anyway, moving on. And now we we escape off into the beyond and they're they're on
Miss Bee:the run. So,
El Jefe:we got Billie Jean, Binks, and Lisa Simpson. Lisa Simpson's running around with them. You're Lee Smith playing putter.
Miss Bee:I love that bitch.
El Jefe:I think putter was probably one of the most fun parts of the entire movie.
Miss Bee:That's my favorite.
El Jefe:The happy naivety. I'm coming with you.
Miss Bee:Let me out of this car or I'll throw up on the front seat.
El Jefe:Or they all thought she was shot. You're bleeding. You're bleeding. You're bleeding. Oh, wait a minute.
El Jefe:I haven't been shot. It's her first period. She waited. She had her first period in the middle of a shootout in a car chase.
Miss Bee:That's a fucking story.
El Jefe:That that is timing right there. Like, no matter what that girl later on in life is gonna be able to relay that story to her children, you think your period was tough Mhmm. Having your first period. You don't wanna go to school. Let me tell you how mine went down.
El Jefe:Her version of the and
Miss Bee:Vinnie from my side's project would be best friends.
El Jefe:You think so?
Miss Bee:Yes. Absolutely.
El Jefe:Why do you think that?
Miss Bee:Down for fucking anything.
El Jefe:Vinnie is just I think as much as I kinda like him, he was the comic relief there, but he had some ideas about women that I just yeah.
Miss Bee:Yeah. And she would put him in his goddamn place.
El Jefe:Yeah. But why do you think you said they would get along.
Miss Bee:Yeah. Exactly. It did it'd be a rough start. I
El Jefe:think that
Miss Bee:Most good friendships. They'd find a way to I don't know.
El Jefe:He'd smack her once and she'd cut her hair. Look. I've been through this with my mother. Don't you dare raise a hand to me again. Yeah.
El Jefe:I thought that was an interesting reaction, though. Like, her mother just hauls off and smacks her while she was in jail. Like, first of all, what woman walks into a police precinct in front of all the cops there, and the first thing she does is haul off and smack her child across the face. Well 1985, there was no law in place for knocking a child's head around?
Miss Bee:I guess not. I don't know, man. I wasn't allowed then.
El Jefe:I mean, back in the eighties, I was still getting the belt. I don't think the cops are gonna come over for getting a belt across my ass. I think that started to happen in, like, the late nineties.
Miss Bee:Yeah. Fucking, like, I don't know. It was still socially acceptable to beat your kid.
El Jefe:You know, it's I I I agree with being able to spank your child. I don't agree with, like, beating the hell out of child, but I agree with the like, that kid, like, later on in the film that a father was just drunk and beating the shit out of him. He had bruises all over him. I don't agree with that kind of shit.
Miss Bee:Absolutely not.
El Jefe:You know? But if your kid does something stupid and you'll bend them over your knees, spank them, make them short make sure, hey. You know? Don't do that shit again.
Miss Bee:Had to do that with my daughter.
El Jefe:Some kids don't need it.
Miss Bee:Exactly.
El Jefe:Some kids don't need the the sting of a hand across their ass to to get any kind of point home. Some kids are intelligent enough to go, oh, you know what? I
Miss Bee:I'm not the smartest.
El Jefe:I stuck a fork in the light the light fork in the light socket. I shot myself halfway across the room. Probably not gonna do that again. Right. You know?
El Jefe:Some parents watch their kids stick a fork in the light socket. They shoot themselves across the room. Two weeks in the hospital, come back, head right for that light socket again. That's the time you What the fuck are you doing? We're gonna we're gonna get some negative reinforcement here.
El Jefe:No. No. So But yeah. I agree some kids need need the spanking. Some kids definitely don't.
El Jefe:And I think some kids that need the spanking are also the ones that are more than willing to throw their parents under the bus for getting the spanking. Like, oh, if you're gonna spank me, I'm gonna make sure these people come over here and take care of you. It's like, okay. I'll tell you I I I I'll tell you what, my my children, never really, really needed that. And my kids were not those ones pitching fits in the middle of the aisle screaming their heads off.
El Jefe:So
Miss Bee:Thank goodness.
El Jefe:So moving on from corporal punishment for children. Anything else that stuck out to you in this film? There's a lot. Still the
Miss Bee:fucking whole movement army that became just the idea of Billie Jean. Then suddenly everyone's cutting their hair and wearing the one earring and all over a fucking scooter. Like, love it.
El Jefe:It's it's an idea though.
Miss Bee:There's this whole, like I don't know. The communication line of secrecy fucking driving Billy all over the fucking state.
El Jefe:Communication was a lot different back then too.
Miss Bee:Yeah.
El Jefe:So it was a lot easier to hide than it would be right now. I don't think that, if Billie Jean were to exist in a film today, I don't think she would get away with the same kind of stuff that she did. I think she would probably be screwed. But, also, I don't think that mister Piet would have gotten away with the shit that he did either. No.
El Jefe:Now there's a a lot more, I I wanna say, surveillance in place now.
Miss Bee:Mhmm. Cameras are everywhere. The birds work for the bourgeoisie.
El Jefe:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they happen to they happen to sit, on your shoulder, on your phone, in the corner of your store, everywhere. Jeez.
El Jefe:Everywhere. And sometimes on light poles outside of your house. Oh, you've got a couple of cameras in different areas, like, and around your block.
Miss Bee:Oh, I know.
El Jefe:Yeah. They're just up there. Traffic cameras, they call them, I guess. But, you know, that they can be used for other things. They're recording everything that happens in and around that camera.
El Jefe:I just thought it was an interesting progression from him being, like, a near the mister Piatt being a near rapist to trying to make himself some sort of victim after getting shot when technically it was his fault that he got shot to begin with. I mean, who keeps the the gun in the register? You secure it somewhere. Know, just leave it in the register. A register that can be popped open by just hitting, you know, a button or whatever.
Miss Bee:Yeah. And
El Jefe:then on top of that, it slowly moves into him fueling part of her martyrdom by basically selling pictures of her T shirts, you know, everything with her
Miss Bee:wanted posters with t on the T shirts. Honestly, I like those posters.
El Jefe:What'd you think about the boyfriend?
Miss Bee:Honestly, it what he did was sweet. I'll be your hostage. The only way you're gonna get what you want.
El Jefe:Lloyd. It's a lot of Lloyd and Lloyd's an eighties film for some reason. I know that like, Say Anything, the lead character was named Lloyd too. I'm literally, I'm really surprised that she took a liking to him as quickly as she did. Like they found a house, snuck into it, which has some kind of surveillance that I didn't expect.
El Jefe:Like the son has cameras set up all over the house and he watches it from his room. That's a little weird.
Miss Bee:It's super fucking creepy.
El Jefe:I think he lives I I mean, it's a good idea.
Miss Bee:Going to be a serial killer.
El Jefe:I mean, it's a good idea because it sounds like he essentially lives at home while his dad does whatever he does in Washington or whatever. Yeah. Or maybe
Miss Bee:Well, that makes sense.
El Jefe:I mean, he had to be flown in by helicopter when they found out that he had been kidnapped. Here's a question. How did they find out that he was kidnapped?
Miss Bee:Didn't they make a tape?
El Jefe:I mean, they made a tape.
Miss Bee:They made a couple of tapes.
El Jefe:But did they know that he made the tape, first of all? Second of all, she didn't mention him or a hostage on the tape. She mentioned what happened. I wanna set the record straight. You know?
El Jefe:She mentioned that part. But I don't think him I don't think he was included in any of that other than the fact that he provided the camera. The camera wasn't pointed him. He didn't show himself as a hostage, and he didn't give himself up as a hostage till after the tape was out. Because remember, she was leaving
Miss Bee:Yeah.
El Jefe:After they had recorded the whole thing. I like that it was Joan of Arc being burned at the stake that gave her the idea to cut her hair and basically make herself a martyr.
Miss Bee:Yeah. And then there was that whole fucking statue of her burning at the end.
El Jefe:Was not a good statue either.
Miss Bee:It was it was like paper Like
El Jefe:bad paper mache. It's also bad on him for making everything so flammable and then having an oil lamp in the middle of
Miss Bee:A haystack?
El Jefe:A haystack. Yeah. Just sitting there.
Miss Bee:Like what the fuck?
El Jefe:It's like, okay, you were asking for this whole place to be set on fire.
Miss Bee:Facts. Somebody help me. You kind of did this to yourself, buddy. Go call the fucking firefighters you see.
El Jefe:I like to think that Hubie had a change of heart and became a different guy after that whole scene. But I know full well that Hubie went on to be just the same piece of shit that he was. He just distances dad got caught. I'm I'm not gonna get caught.
Miss Bee:And that gesture where everyone started throwing all the fucking Billie Jean hats and shirts and everything into the fire
El Jefe:this week. I mean, I think that she was saying too, she's I don't wanna be a martyr. Yeah. You know, I don't wanna be this thing that you guys have elevated me to be. I just want the money for for what he did.
El Jefe:I want him I want justice. I want him to do what's right. Fair is fair.
Miss Bee:Fair is fair.
El Jefe:Best line in the whole film. Facts. I like the, little kid that they used to deliver the tape.
Miss Bee:Right. What the fuck? How how is this toddler Just walk down the street without anybody questioning.
El Jefe:Like, this is an entire police precinct. Cops are passing parents. And you see this little
Miss Bee:Know what to do.
El Jefe:Little ginger boy with a paper bag just walking straight to the building. Nobody's
Miss Bee:thinking sucks. Suss as fuck. What if it's a bomb?
El Jefe:What if did they just send
Miss Bee:the toddler the suicide bomb?
El Jefe:I wasn't even thinking about like that. Like back then, that wouldn't have been a mindset. Like I get that a lot of people back in the eighties or before like the nineties just kicked their kids out of the house, said, I don't want to see you till dinner, go play, have fun. And then the kids would just go out and I was kept even my sisters, we were all kicked out into the yard. They all wanted us to go outside and play.
El Jefe:Do shit outside. Don't stay inside all day. Now mind you, we didn't have all the access to video games, television, phones.
Miss Bee:My mom was the same way, but not when I was fucking two feet tall.
El Jefe:Oh yeah. Well, I mean, where were you living when you were two feet tall? Don't don't like to say, but like you were in a city area, right?
Miss Bee:Yeah.
El Jefe:Okay. So you were living in a city area. I can understand like at that age, don't send the kids outside. I lived in sort of a, I would say a suburban kind of laid back area. There's it was one of those kind of spread out communities.
El Jefe:Like it was a we lived off of a side street, not on the main road, so there wasn't a lot of traffic.
Miss Bee:Actually, no. And, when I was that young, I was in like a little cul de sac.
El Jefe:Okay. So my my mom, not at two years old, not at that munchkin's age. No. That is the only thing that I could think of. But even still at that age, even if you were kicked out into your yard, if you're walking or doing a beeline for the front door of a police station at that age, the first thought should have been like, where are your parents?
El Jefe:What's happened to your parents? Are you okay? And no cops stopped this child.
Miss Bee:What's wrong, Lassie?
El Jefe:You know, for all they know, this is some kid delivering the ransom severed finger from their parent. Like, mom, dad, they I don't know where they are.
Miss Bee:Just too young to talk.
El Jefe:They delivered this in Tupperware. There's a couple fingers. I don't know what to do with this. I thought maybe my parents taught me where the police department was here.
Miss Bee:You know how to cook?
El Jefe:And then this would have been a mixture of a revenge adventure to a, you know, horror film. Yeah. I wanna know where that kid's parents are, what happened to him afterwards.
Miss Bee:Seriously, where the fuck are those kid that is that kid's parents?
El Jefe:Because they watched the entire video before the even looking at this kid who puts up the, you know, the fist, you know, fair is fair, you know? Uh-huh. And not a question. Like, kid walks into the room, nobody says, where are your parents? Why how did you get into the police department room where we are going over?
El Jefe:That's he was somehow just able to walk through the Sneaky. What past an entire department of like, was he like the the ghost ginger boy? Like, how did he get in there?
Miss Bee:Apparently, the box ghost. In the
El Jefe:eighties even the eighties, you had to have had some serious stealth skills to get past that front desk. Or maybe in the eighties in
Miss Bee:see over the desk.
El Jefe:It was just an all access, like, police building.
Miss Bee:Yeah. Yeah. Oh my goodness.
El Jefe:Just walks in.
Miss Bee:Everyone just knows to everyone already.
El Jefe:I mean, that would traumatize me. Like as a little kid, somebody just randomly walk up. Okay. Here. We've kidnapped you To the cops.
El Jefe:Because the only thought in my head is because this kid's too young to have watched her on television because the video hasn't come out yet. Yeah. Okay. He doesn't know what's going on. So these people had to have picked this kid up, said, alright, I know that you wanna go home to mom and dad.
El Jefe:We're not letting you go home till you give this to this guy over there. You know? They had to have been sure that he was in the building. They had to have kidnapped the kid, gave him the bag, told him to go deliver it.
Miss Bee:Oh my gosh. These are very intricate plans.
El Jefe:I mean, I don't understand why they couldn't have used, like, a teenager. Why did it have to be, like, two, three year old little boy?
Miss Bee:Kids that was hanging out?
El Jefe:Was this before or after the dozens of kids? I don't think they had gotten across all those children yet. I think that happened after all this.
Miss Bee:Oh my god.
El Jefe:Because then I think during that whole scene where they saved that kid from the house, I believe, they had already put the video out and that's why the woman recognized her, and they ended up in a shooting gallery.
Miss Bee:Yep. I'm
El Jefe:just trying to shoot the tires out. Apparently, tires are head high. Like, right through the back windshield.
Miss Bee:I'm trying to get us $10,000.
El Jefe:It's like, other than a Jeep, what kind of car do you know that has the freaking tire on the trunk? On the back window of the car.
Miss Bee:That was a fucking unnecessarily lifted truck.
El Jefe:Hey. Yeah. That's got Vroom. Vroom. Yeah.
El Jefe:That's the, drag strip right outside of my house. The weather is getting beautiful, and so all the motorcycles are coming out. And I live right on a main street. So, there's no way to soundproof that where I am currently, as you can see, now that we're doing video, I can show you, see the windows. I have three windows here, one window over here, and all of them are thin as hell.
El Jefe:It's not the double pane stuff. This is like the ancient stuff from like the seventies when the house was built. Half of these windows don't close properly. There's constantly a fucking draft. Alright.
El Jefe:I have been stuffing these windows, stuffing the cracks in the windows like some teenager stuffing paper in her bra when she was
Miss Bee:Oh my god.
El Jefe:Every winter. Yeah. I had to go there. Anyway so other than that, what what what else stands out to you?
Miss Bee:Like, the fucking now they easily just find fucking squats.
El Jefe:Well, this is also like Texas in the eighties.
Miss Bee:Yeah. I keep forgetting.
El Jefe:There's a lot of wide open spaces out in Texas. There really is. We have the wonderful advantage of living in these the thickly settled area of New England. And there's not a lot of places to, like, fucking hide. You gotta hide and play inside out there.
Miss Bee:You gotta know some people and fucking nooks and crannies.
El Jefe:But there's a lot of places, like, out in the just in the wide open out there. Like, obviously, that place was a rundown, the one they went back to frequently was a rundown putt putt miniature golf.
Miss Bee:Yeah. And then there was that fucking basement place with all the kids.
El Jefe:I will say that, Ringwald, the the police officer, I believe that's what his name was, was by far one of the worst police officers I have seen in film.
Miss Bee:For sure.
El Jefe:Standing in the middle of the miniature golf course. There's not a lot of places to look there. There isn't. There's a store with the door wide open that he keeps eyeing does not go through the door. There is the castle that has a big gate that you can see into because it's broad daylight in the middle of Texas.
El Jefe:No. Also, have to ask what time of year was this in Texas that they could hide in that castle, which I imagine if it was in the middle of summer would have been stuffy as fucking hell.
Miss Bee:Yeah.
El Jefe:And not sweat even a little bit.
Miss Bee:I thought they were sweating all through all over the place, but fucking it it was raining a lot.
El Jefe:They weren't they weren't sweating in that scene. They did plenty of sweating down by the waterhole. Looked like they got a tan and everything. I imagine they filmed that last because they were pasty white the rest of the film.
Miss Bee:Probably.
El Jefe:No sunburn at all.
Miss Bee:No. But there were a few, like, scenes where it was downpouring rain, they just, like, they were able to get those fight off a little bit easier.
El Jefe:I think is there anything that bothered you about the film?
Miss Bee:The fucking incompetence of this one cop who's trying to play both sides.
El Jefe:I think I mean, that that works for
Miss Bee:Clearly not.
El Jefe:Gomez. I mean, if he wasn't a bad cop, then none of this would have happened.
Miss Bee:Right?
El Jefe:So we wouldn't had if he was a good cop, we wouldn't have had a film. It would have been, my brother went to go get his motor scooter. I need you to save him. And I listened, and now he has his scooter back and the end. That's all that would have been.
Miss Bee:Right? I'm gonna go talk to this kid and fucking like
El Jefe:Competent police officers rarely ever make for good stories.
Miss Bee:Yeah. Seriously.
El Jefe:So bad cops, bad guess he was
Miss Bee:And the fact that nothing fucking happened to mister Pyatt. Oh, no. He lost his little fucking stand of shit, but
El Jefe:he didn't actually
Miss Bee:get arrested for trying to solicit a minor.
El Jefe:So that's one of the things I'm gonna mention. All my my my gripes happened at the end of the movie. Yeah. So a, nothing really happened to him outside of this whole thing just burning down money and all while he's sitting there. He got shot in the arm.
El Jefe:Nothing happened to him for being a sleaze. So I guess technically he didn't do anything other than
Miss Bee:mean Assaulted her. And he tried to solicit her for sex.
El Jefe:Submit I mean, he he should have at least gotten arrested for submitting a false police report, basically lying to the police officers to get somebody arrested. The second thing that bothered me is they had an ambulance, like, right there when Binks got shot.
Miss Bee:Yeah. They knew someone was gonna get hurt. But? Fucking television guy fucking hired sharpshooters.
El Jefe:But sharpshooters there, police officers everywhere, ambulance on hand two seconds after, but not a single fire truck in sight for this inferno that happens that around what I am imagining is a busy beach. So I'm wondering if this if this was near his actual shop, his actual place. I imagine this was all set up right outside. This inferno's going up and they're just sitting there like,
Miss Bee:sucks for suck.
El Jefe:Should we call 911? I mean, we are 911, but I mean, should we call the fire department or do we just let this rage out of control and burn down the entire strip? What do you think? I guess they opted for, look at men in disgust and let it burn.
Miss Bee:Oh my God.
El Jefe:The last thing that bothered me is this whole shootout that happened at the end where Binks basically dressed in his sister's clothing to to bring the hostage in, and she goes to make sure that he has his scooter. I guess that was their plan is, essentially Binks putting himself in the the crosshairs. They didn't know that it was gonna be sharpshooters. The this happens. Binks gets shot.
El Jefe:Right? And he gets loaded up into the ambulance two seconds later, and they play it like she had just run out of the crowd and was chasing the ambulance down. Like, was boom, boom, boom. She when we cut to the scene where she's chasing it down, it goes from being day to night.
Miss Bee:Right. My dog went really fast, and she's been running for a while.
El Jefe:Right. So, I mean, she was just across the parking lot. She didn't have to run five miles to get to the ambulance. Alright. There shouldn't have been like a two hour span between when they did that to nightfall.
El Jefe:I mean, did she have to wait for them to load him up and everybody to rush the ambulance and say, okay, it's nighttime. I can rush towards the ambulance screaming and crying now.
Miss Bee:What the fuck? I it's it's a plot holes.
El Jefe:There was one fun bad cut in the film as well. Going back to the scene where they first tried to give her the money, when Piet tried to have his son, Hubie, basically tackle her in the mall. Mhmm. As they're being chased down, they get out to the parking lot and Binks pushes the The dumpster. In front of the door.
El Jefe:If you watch, he pushes it in front of the door. Two guys hit the dumpster immediately and bounce off of it, but they cut it badly. So it looks like they bounced off of it and literally a millisecond later, there was an entire group of people right there trying to push it out of the way. Yeah. So literally, these people would have been standing on top of the two guys that had just bounced off of it to try to push it because there was no time for them to scurry out of the way.
Miss Bee:But from the cut where they were, like, running towards the fucking camera, they were good, like, 10 feet back.
El Jefe:Right. So that that was it was just a really bad cut. Like, they should have given it, like, maybe a A couple more seconds. Just so so the two guys could have scurried out of the way that it just basically dove headfirst side of the thing.
Miss Bee:And then it Like, they made it look like it was dumb easy to push that dumpster. Well, It went over real fast.
El Jefe:They he it was easy to push it, but then he put the he put the locks on the he kicked the the brakes on
Miss Bee:it so it
El Jefe:could move afterwards. But I feel like you didn't see my kick the brake until the people bounced off of it, which means that it should've they should've been able to nudge it at the very least. Unless for some reason, the wheels were just pointed to push it sideways. Maybe. Would have been a a weird design for a dumpster.
Miss Bee:I think
El Jefe:it could have a little bit more a little bit more mobility.
Miss Bee:I don't know. It's old.
El Jefe:Alright.
Miss Bee:That's what I'm gonna assume. I liked the marbles.
El Jefe:One out of 10. What would you give this for an IMDb rating? IMDb still a rate.
Miss Bee:A solid seven and a half.
El Jefe:Solid seven and a half. This, I'm gonna rate it a little higher because I've watched this film before, and, like, I didn't I didn't remember it being this good. The fact that it's a film from, like, the early eighties and that it stands up now. Like, this is something I could watch. My my you know, my kids sat down and watched it with me.
El Jefe:And he's like, oh, I see why you made me watch this now.
Miss Bee:Yeah. Winter was watching with me.
El Jefe:You know, he he loved the film. So it's the fact that I can show something in the eighties to a kid that was born in the February and that they would enjoy it. I I'm gonna give this like an 8.5. So It's up there. It's better than a lot of the the trash that we watch.
El Jefe:Yeah. And speaking of trash, let's move on to our second film, my science project. Now I don't think it's complete trash, but this was one of the weirder things. You know? But I'm I'm I'm gonna say, like, I wouldn't rate it anywhere near as high as this film.
Miss Bee:You've got a time machine fucking Tesla orb?
El Jefe:Right. Like, used that they used a Tesla orb as a time machine for some alien aliens that were born I I think what Dennis Hopper said
Miss Bee:There's alternate dimensions.
El Jefe:Well, he said, like, this thing is as old older than the earth. He was basically saying when he touched, he had something that was supposed to read like the carbon or carbon date, the actual item itself.
Miss Bee:They kept saying it was a time warp, and I kept going back to fucking Rocky Horror.
El Jefe:Dennis Hopper, so he plays Bob Roberts in this, the the, hippie science teacher. He kept Who fucking just
Miss Bee:all faces into the time orb.
El Jefe:He sounds he sounded like a guy that was just trying to explain this thing. He was in the middle of experiencing. It's like, I it's like, I can feel the time. It's like the time is all around me. It's at my fingertips and it's time, it's space.
El Jefe:And he's just he sounded like an old hippie going on a bad trip. He did. He he he it sounded like an old hippie going on a bad trip and touching a wet electrical socket. Just, you know? I could feel it coursing through me, man.
El Jefe:Pull your finger out of the light socket. I can feel it. It's all around me. No. It's coursing through me.
El Jefe:Your hair is fried. You know? Just and, they I I love the Turn it off. I love the claymation of him being, like, sucked into orbit. Whatever that was, just meow.
Miss Bee:Oh, la la.
El Jefe:So my I
Miss Bee:don't know what that was. My
El Jefe:science project basically follows John Stockwell playing Michael Harlan and a a cast of of characters. All I can say, Vinny and Ellie Sawyer and and Sherman. Basically, these teenagers of of different, I don't even know what you'd call them. You have two motorheads and two, I guess you would call them nerdy kids from the same They
Miss Bee:were the the nerdy kids were part of the, journalistic club thing. Right. Yeah.
El Jefe:Will essentially, you had I was just putting them into a very neat category. It
Miss Bee:just Yeah.
El Jefe:You had you had the the motorheads and you had the, I guess, journalists.
Miss Bee:Sherman's got a thing for Ellie. And Ellie's like, no. Harlan.
El Jefe:Don't think that my god. I don't think that she even thought of Sherman as an entity outside of just being her journalistic buddy.
Miss Bee:Yeah. Exactly.
El Jefe:It's it's just like if if Jimmy Olsen had a thing for Lois, you know, and that was constantly going Clark, Clark, Clark, you know?
Miss Bee:I mean anyway.
El Jefe:So and I I was I'm just saying, like, lot of the guys in both of these movies are bad male role models, period.
Miss Bee:Absolutely.
El Jefe:Okay. Binks in the last film, bad male role model. You had Harlan and Piet, bad male role models. You had the cop, bad male role model. All of them had such major flaws.
El Jefe:Then you move over to this movie, you've got
Miss Bee:And Harlan's dad.
El Jefe:My girl. Harlan's dad was just, I think he I think he might have been divorced or maybe the mother passed away. He was either divorced till the mom passed away. And he's now living with his dad who he doesn't really seem to like at all, who runs the local hardware store.
Miss Bee:Tolerates him.
El Jefe:And he just kinda tolerates him and he's like, this is gonna be your new mom, this woman that sells cosmetics. And he's just like, oh, yeah, great dad. That's wonderful.
Miss Bee:This is Dolores. Nice to meet you, Louise.
El Jefe:But for a guy that doesn't like how his father treats women, he does not treat women very well.
Miss Bee:I mean, look at who he's learning from.
El Jefe:Like, he turned he turned, Ellie down flat when she decided to, I guess, detach her distributor cap Yeah. And walk the traffic leading out of the school so that he'd come to her rescue so that she could ask him on a date. That was her plan.
Miss Bee:I mean, it worked.
El Jefe:It worked. But then he she's like, would you like to come over and meet my fo oh, no. No. No. No.
El Jefe:We're not doing that. Meet me outside. I'm not meeting your folks. He goes, you really know how to treat women. They go, oh, you must not want this date all that bad.
El Jefe:She goes, no. No. I'll do it. I'll be outside. You don't have to meet my parents.
El Jefe:Not for nothing. I kind of am on his side with that. Just a little bit. Not the way that he put it out there, but Ellie shouldn't have been like, come meet my parents the first day. Oh, no.
El Jefe:Like, I wanna go on a and show you off to my parents. No. Hold on. Stop.
Miss Bee:Right. This sounds like you're getting in deep.
El Jefe:I wanna figure out if I like you first before I start figuring, oh, good lord. What's going on with you? I need to meet your parents so I can figure out how this happened. People
Miss Bee:a fucking character. This movie is full of characters.
El Jefe:Some people you wanna meet their parents because you love the the the person. Other people you wanna meet the parents because you wanna figure out how if if point a and point b actually made this point c in the middle. You know, it's like what kind of toxic and what kind of toxic made this kind of toxic right here? You know, like Vinny, I would have loved to have met the parents in this I would have loved to have seen Vinny's dad at some point. Who do you if you close your eyes and you think about some guy being Vinny's dad, who do you think it would be?
Miss Bee:Joe
El Jefe:That's the first guy that came to mind, Joe Pesci. First guy that came to mind in my head. The second guy that came to mind was Ray Liotta. Because you're talking about a guy that could play like a Brooklyn wise ass who would be intimidating enough. Like I can't imagine any Joe Pesci because he struck his wife and then she divorced him right off the bat.
El Jefe:I think that Ray Liotta, like he might be a little bit too intimidating. Like mom didn't get out by divorce, you know? So mom- Ray Liotta. Mom's in the witness protection program, that kind of thing. I think that Vinny I don't I think that's what happened.
El Jefe:Mom didn't just divorce him. I think they're living where they are right now because him and Vinny, they basically in witness protection. Like they moved oh, no. Not one night. Not Vinny is in witness protection, but mom's in witness protection and they're moving around to try to figure out where she is.
El Jefe:Some shit happened.
Miss Bee:They
El Jefe:put Vinny, the guy with the Brooklyn auto body shirt on in the middle of wherever they are right now. Like, I'm imagining this is just Anywhere USA, some small suburban town. He's like, I I was in Brooklyn. This is just like some hole in the wall here.
Miss Bee:I guess. I I I like Vinny has the best dialogue in the movie. I will admit. As far as, like, quick reactions.
El Jefe:None of the dialogue that happened in the film outside of what tumbled out of his mouth really struck me as anything. Like, everything else
Miss Bee:that was going on It just rambling nonsense.
El Jefe:I will forever remember all the bullshit that tumbled out of Vinny's mouth. All the other stuff I couldn't I couldn't tell you. Like, my favorite part is when the cop, they're in the police, the, the, police station, the cop comes up to me and is like, Hey kid, why do you wear sunglasses at night? Because when you're cool, the sun shines on you twenty four hours a day. And then she pins him to the wall.
El Jefe:Oh, butch. She's like, oh, easy butch. Get a shave.
Miss Bee:Like, what the fuck is that?
El Jefe:Like, he's like the kind of asshole you keep around just because the shit that comes out of his mouth. Like, the second he the shit hits the fan, you go, I don't know that guy. But you keep him around because you wanna hear what's coming out of his mouth.
Miss Bee:Yeah.
El Jefe:It's like, But yeah. No. I I really can't remember a lot of what happens. Oh, no. One of my
Miss Bee:favorite fighting trying to fall asleep or trying not to fall asleep.
El Jefe:Do you have any other favorite Vinny lines?
Miss Bee:I have one. Oh, danger makes sex. Oh my god.
El Jefe:What happened? Okay. We're we're we're in an audio format here. So I'm sitting here and you are screaming. Do you find a spider?
El Jefe:A stink bug. Okay.
Miss Bee:Blue in front of me.
El Jefe:Alright. Well, I could see the flying being the bothersome part, but, know, it's a stink bug. It's not going to do any damage.
Miss Bee:Yeah. I know. I want him out of my room.
El Jefe:So one of my my favorite lines in the film is, when they are working on his car together. And, Vinny goes, I I hit on Sawyer once. Because, yeah, I tried to give her this macho Italian bod, and then Mike looks at her and goes, what did she do? He goes, poor girl lost that. She called me a name.
El Jefe:I had to look up in the dictionary. I
Miss Bee:liked that.
El Jefe:I think he's playing like a Joe Pesci version of Joey from Friends in this. That's how it felt, You got the stink bug. The stink bug is I got
Miss Bee:the bug and now the bug can go outside.
El Jefe:Okay. So, you're
Miss Bee:Goodbye, bud.
El Jefe:We taking a break so that you can set the little bugger free?
Miss Bee:No. He's already outside.
El Jefe:That was a real close-up of your palm for a second there.
Miss Bee:Yes.
El Jefe:So I it's not that I had trouble keeping track of what the movie was about. The whole point to the thing was that the military
Miss Bee:Time travel Tesla orb.
El Jefe:The military years ago found a or a it was like a, almost like an Area 51 kind of thing where a military, the military took down an alien aircraft. They thought it was an engine of some sort that the aliens were trying to remove. And so the president, I'm guessing that's who that was said, or I'm guessing it's either president or a five star general that they called in with his golfing cleats still on in the middle of the night. Okay. He had golfing cleats on and it was midnight at the very moment.
Miss Bee:It wasn't golf related.
El Jefe:I don't know what that was then.
Miss Bee:It definitely wasn't golf related.
El Jefe:He had the golf outfit and the cleats on. So he was Maybe. He it it could have been like a driving range. A lot of driving ranges are well lit at night.
Miss Bee:Maybe. Or, you
El Jefe:know Overdoing it.
Miss Bee:He was doing sexy things with the wife and got caught role playing.
El Jefe:Sexy things with the wife? Like, she stopped him and went, nah. Leave the sweater and the cleats on. You
Miss Bee:know? Yes.
El Jefe:Why? You think it's sexy? No. Last time you lost traction and you fell down. I don't want you to break your hip again, Charles.
El Jefe:Anyway, so they basically he says destroy it and obviously they kept the engine and then they hid it away underneath. I'm guessing what it was an airplane graveyard, a military airplane graveyard. And that is what where he finds this Tesla Orb time traveling machine basically falls through a thing in the ground and he I don't know. I mean, I think that's probably the stupidest thing Mike could have done because he's walking around a room that he's like, this has gotta be a fallout shelter. And it's, you know, signs that say stuff like, you can survive nuclear fallout.
El Jefe:And then he comes across a box that basically says that not to be opened or used by anybody but
Miss Bee:Trained professionals or something.
El Jefe:Trained professionals. Yeah. Like, it has to be official personnel, and it has to be under controlled circumstances. And he's like
Miss Bee:He's just like
El Jefe:That's what I want. I want the thing that
Miss Bee:could be radioactive bullshit.
El Jefe:Like, I am in a fallout shelter, and they're telling me don't touch it unless you're part of the military. That's my science project. And he decides to take it and go.
Miss Bee:Radioactive superpowers.
El Jefe:This boy this boy's intelligence level, it's he's like the quiet dumb where where, Vinny was the loud dumb.
Miss Bee:Yeah.
El Jefe:And I'm just trying to understand other than possibly the looks, what Ellie would have seen in him. Like, I'm try okay. May maybe this is like an eighties thing. Like, why did intelligent girls or girls that are portrayed as intelligent like the idea of pursuing somebody who is
Miss Bee:They wanted to feel seen.
El Jefe:Pretty but dumb as a brick. I get it. I I mean, I'm just saying, like, I I would think that a a person of that intelligence would get bored of a guy Oh, absolutely. Quickly.
Miss Bee:Definitely. For sure.
El Jefe:It was dumb as a brick. It's like, okay, look, this is the twenty fifth time today that I've had to explain something to you. And under normal circumstances, that wouldn't bother me. But the thing that I have explained to you is the same thing 25 times today.
Miss Bee:Yeah.
El Jefe:Kinda how I feel like outside of vehicles, he is definitely vehicularly smart. But outside of a combustion engine
Miss Bee:He doesn't know dick.
El Jefe:He he's the brick, dumb as that I keep tell telling you. He's dumb as a brick. Not a
Miss Bee:bright guy.
El Jefe:So the rest of the film past him, basically, I I don't wanna say vaporizing, but, like, past him showing this, Tesla orb to his teacher who decides that, you know what the brilliant idea is? If I'm getting this much power from a battery engine with just melted down My god. Like, it turned to slime. Like, that's not regular battery acid pouring out the side there. And, basically his idea was like, okay, let's take these two pieces and stick them in the light socket.
El Jefe:Remember that fork that I was telling you about, right? Yeah. This is the dumbass sticking the fork in the light socket.
Miss Bee:Piece of shit.
El Jefe:Well, I he was a I think he was a hippie.
Miss Bee:Disconnect that.
El Jefe:No. We're not calling the pigs, man. He's definitely like a 19, like, hippie. Like For sure. I have found a way to elevate myself to, like, nirvana level consciousness.
El Jefe:I can feel everything around me.
Miss Bee:I am My molecules can feel the molecules in the air.
El Jefe:It's like, oh, boy. Yeah. I mean, the fact He
Miss Bee:he was on some fucking acid or shrooms or both.
El Jefe:I mean, was huffing oxygen like a short time earlier.
Miss Bee:Yeah.
El Jefe:So, yeah. Obviously, he's
Miss Bee:He's definitely a guy that we want teaching our children.
El Jefe:This is the guy that's sitting here in the science class. Like, he's hearing everybody's ideas, the thought in his head is like, nobody's got hydroponics going on. Nobody wants to grow some weed for me. Like, come on.
Miss Bee:For real.
El Jefe:I'll give you an a and we'll call it something else.
Miss Bee:He probably has a grow room in the fucking janitor's closet.
El Jefe:You you're just growing tomatoes. There's no tomatoes there, but it's tomatoes.
Miss Bee:It's tomatoes.
El Jefe:At that point though, after that point, I started losing track of the film. I really did. Because it was all over the place. You ended up with another cop who was dumb as a brick that had the fucking weirdest name. It's like his name was like Nutty or something like that.
El Jefe:I'm trying to look it up right now. I I know the the guy.
Miss Bee:Yeah. It was really hard for me to follow too. Like, the going through all the fucking timelines and fucking It's
El Jefe:like all the timelines were bleeding into the high school. So it was they had given it enough power that any timeline was reachable, I'm guessing, from any locker. Oh, okay. It was
Miss Bee:That was a mess of a movie.
El Jefe:Richard Massoor plays detective Isidore Nutty. That was his name. Isadore Nutty. I
Miss Bee:Isadore Nutty. I don't know. Are there peanuts in it?
El Jefe:It could, it could be walnut.
Miss Bee:Walnut. Yes.
El Jefe:Walnut is a type of what?
Miss Bee:Oh my god. It's a door. It's a nutty door. Holy shit.
El Jefe:I mean, it's walnut y, but it's nutty.
Miss Bee:It's a door nutty.
El Jefe:Is it a walnut? Quest. Maybe that's his middle name, Wal.
Miss Bee:Fuck you.
El Jefe:Isadora w Nutty. Walnutty.
Miss Bee:Walter.
El Jefe:Fuck me. Walter Nutty. They call him Walnutty.
Miss Bee:I hate myself. But yes.
El Jefe:I mean, I I followed you down that rabbit hole.
Miss Bee:Okay?
El Jefe:I think that this would have been a better movie in a different way. So I didn't like like the spectral, like, I don't know, there was Nazis. They somehow ended up with like the Viet Cong walking through there. They ended up with like Spartans fighting each other in there, like Romans from the Colosseum or whatever. I didn't like all that.
El Jefe:I feel like they could have it could have been a little bit more fun. And maybe I'm this is just me trying to design a stupid movie in my head. If it was sort of a situation where like you open a locker and like on the other side of the locker is like a portal to a different time because of this fucking thing going on, like the Viet Cong come through one locker. Right? It's like, okay, Vietnam's over there.
El Jefe:We're gonna lock that.
Miss Bee:Right? Where are all the fucking locks?
El Jefe:I personally wanna know where or what they're teaching in this school that they were able to take on a Roman Colosseum Fighter and disarm him. Right? This guy who was obvious like a bodybuilder or a wrestler of some sort. And they were able to take out heavily armed Viet Cong soldiers who had a basically, they saved some guy. I'm guessing an American soldier being captured by the Viet Cong.
El Jefe:Was like, thank you, man. Didn't even ask where he was.
Miss Bee:Yeah. Fucking bro. The disarmed the soldiers, and then they started using their guns. How do you know how to use these guns, guys?
El Jefe:Fucking What? No.
Miss Bee:Sherman I know Sherman knows how to, fucking change the clips and everything, and that's definitely a school shooter.
El Jefe:He changed the clips, but he also taught them to cock the gun and and you're ready to go.
Miss Bee:That kid's definitely a fucking school shooter or was going to be before all of this. He was way too excited about all of that.
El Jefe:I think he was ready to take out Harlan the second Ellie gave him the eyes. Mhmm. He was not happy about that. But, then we move on. The funniest part of the film to me, this is the only part that I had to rewind.
El Jefe:So as they're progressing through the school, before they get to the the big T Rex scene in the middle of the gym Yeah. There are a bunch of like future, I guess, post apocalyptic mutant soldiers with laser guns shooting at them.
Miss Bee:What the fuck was that about?
El Jefe:It wasn't the laser guns that I thought was funny.
Miss Bee:They They kinda looked like fucking Planet of the Apes.
El Jefe:They used Looney Tunes sound effects for the gun. I blatantly heard I heard the Roadrunner. And I was like, wait a minute. Did I just fucking hear the Roadrunner while they were
Miss Bee:shooting at them? They did.
El Jefe:And I rolled it back and they used the Roadrunner basically running as they're shooting these guys down. I'm like, which which one of the laser guns has Roadrunner sound effects? I wanna know. All of it. I mean, it would have been more funny if, like, one of the mutants, like, turned around and ran the fuck away, but this was just the middle of the laser fight.
El Jefe:Yeah. And these guys shoot like stormtroopers. They miss every single time. So they these were not effective.
Miss Bee:Really a a movie.
El Jefe:It was it was not a I don't think it was a bad movie. I don't regret
Miss Bee:It wasn't the worst one we've watched.
El Jefe:Because I've watched some junk. Yeah. Okay. I've watched some junk. We we I got two on the top of my shit list, and I'm sad to say that one of them's on the top of my shit list, but it's just there.
Miss Bee:It's just there.
El Jefe:Yeah. I'm not gonna mention them today because I've talked about both of them too much. Yeah. We spent we spent, like, two or three seasons, like, mentioning several. See, I'm getting into it again.
El Jefe:Jesus. Yeah. Brain keeps wanting to go back to trauma. Trauma. Oh my god.
El Jefe:The trauma. Trauma. Trauma. Anyway, how would you rate this film? We're going we're going by the IMDb scale one through 10.
Miss Bee:I'll give it a five.
El Jefe:You're gonna give it a five?
Miss Bee:I give it a five.
El Jefe:I would give it I didn't regret watching the film. I absolutely loved Fisher Stevens throughout the being the lovable asshole throughout this entire fucking film. Like, I think he was the best part of this. And if it wasn't for Fisher Stevens being in this film and being Vinny the hole Brooklynite, I think that this film
Miss Bee:a lot better.
El Jefe:This film could have easily been like a two, maybe a three without Vinny in it. Yeah. With Vinny in it, on the other hand, I would give it a solid six. I I think that that Fisher Stevens, he's kind of an underrated kind of comedic actor. He's been in a lot of different things.
El Jefe:Like, remember him from, Hackers. He was pretty good in, and he was also in, I believe, both, Short Circuit one and two. And he's like a character. Yeah. So, I mean, he does characters.
El Jefe:He and he he does very well doing these characters. He I think he played like a Hindu in both the, both of the Short Circuit movies. And then the character he played was just kind of this hacker, like evil hacker asshole in hackers.
Miss Bee:Well, I mean Well, I mean self explanatory.
El Jefe:He was the evil hacker going against all the good hackers or whatever. It was they're just hackers in general. Technically, you're all criminals, good or bad. Right. Technically.
El Jefe:But, yeah, I would give it a solid six. Is that mean, is there anything that else that really bothered you about the film?
Miss Bee:I mean, the the fucking effects were terrible.
El Jefe:Well, I mean Oh,
Miss Bee:that's bad.
El Jefe:For for a movie from like 1985, there are definitely films that did special effects a hell of a lot better than this. But was also
Miss Bee:like low budget. Right?
El Jefe:I don't think this was low budget. It was just badly reviewed. Like, I think like people just didn't like this film all that much. I okay. So low budget, they don't actually have a budget notated here, but they're saying that worldwide, it only grossed about 4,100,000 So against any budget, really.
Miss Bee:Yeah. They didn't make anything much much of anything yet. They couldn't
El Jefe:have made much on this. Alright. Now comes the time of the podcast where we are going to sit down and we're gonna take Billie Jean and Bryce. Okay. Well, I haven't stood yet.
El Jefe:You're standing now.
Miss Bee:I'm not standing. I'm just grabbing a water from my fridge.
El Jefe:Alright. Well, I mean, I've got one right here. I came prepared.
Miss Bee:Oh my goodness.
El Jefe:I've been slowly slugging back water this entire time to keep me from I've got a I work in a a basement at my my nine to five job. So spending a lot of time down there, it it it goes from being too dry to too humid back and forth, and my throat just does not love me anymore.
Miss Bee:There's a lot of fucking dust in my office. We are going office fulfillment center.
El Jefe:So both of these films came out in 1985. So these are both from the same year. So we are going to take my science project and the legend of Billie Jean, and we're gonna take the characters from these films and just throw them into something.
Miss Bee:At each other.
El Jefe:At each other. I mean, I'm seeing if you got
Miss Bee:Billy Jean Billy's definitely gonna end up fucking kneeing Vinny in the fucking nuts like she does to every fucking douchebag guy.
El Jefe:Right. So Here's here's my thing. Then putters and gonna fall for him. Well, technically, in Billy Jean's life, putters no longer no longer exists. By the end of the film, Billy Jean and Binks are in some I think they were going to Vermont, if I'm not mistaken.
El Jefe:They were going for a place with mountains and snowballs and snow and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So they went from Texas where putter and her other stuff
Miss Bee:I would not put it past putter to like hide in their fucking trunk or some shit.
El Jefe:Oh, you know what? I like that idea. Putter doesn't just hide in the trunk. Putter finds out where they've moved to. Like, she sends her a letter, and she decides to hitchhike across the across The States to get up to New England.
Miss Bee:Hi, Billy. I'm here.
El Jefe:My mama hit me again. I ain't putting up with that shit no more. I'm too old to be smacked across the face.
Miss Bee:I'm gonna get now.
El Jefe:I will come live with you and get into voice over acting. I hear the Simpsons need someone. I love Yeardley Smith. She's so she's fun in a lot of different films. So if you ever get to watch, like, the it's I think it's 03:00 high was good, and, I think you watched maximum overdrive with me.
Miss Bee:I think so. Yeah.
El Jefe:The the one about the sentient the Stephen King movie about the sentient trucks.
Miss Bee:Yes.
El Jefe:Right? And she played the the the bitchy newlywed wife
Miss Bee:Got you.
El Jefe:Of that guy that gets into a car accident and ends up over there. I love that bitch. I think the end of my science project. So they didn't really tie it up too well. Think the military, because they stole this thing, right?
El Jefe:I think that the military gives them a choice. Okay. Look, you you came onto government property. You stole this stuff. You have two choices here.
El Jefe:Obviously, because of this, you've been on you've been on the news, you've been this, you've been that.
Miss Bee:What? Straight to jail.
El Jefe:You have the choice of either going to jail for your crimes, or we can put you basically in a a, not a witness protection, but a relocation that we're gonna give you new names. We're gonna basically move you out to the Middle East bum fuck. Pardon They end up in Vermont in the same town that Binks and Billie Jean now live in. Alright. The new thing is Billie Jean having to deal with Vinny constantly hitting on her throughout this.
El Jefe:So this ends up going from, like, an action thriller to the first part of the movie just being pure fucking comedy because you got Billie Jean and Binks going to school. You got Vinny and him being the motorheads in the new school in Vermont, but finding out that there is no auto program there at all. So the school that they end up in, like the school they used to go to basically had an automotive program. You can go in and learn how to fix cars, you know, do this, do that. So they have to do their own kind of automotive care stuff in the garage.
El Jefe:There's none there, which pisses them off because now it's all just book learning to them. There's no metal shop. There's no edit. There's no, there's no metal shop. There's no auto shop.
El Jefe:There's no wood shop. This school has
Miss Bee:no shop. Place.
El Jefe:It's like, okay. So why am I here? This is, like, completely against who I am altogether. He ends up working in the same shop that sells a snowmobile to Binksy. Okay.
El Jefe:So he he works he works there with Vinny after school with Binksy. I call him Binksy. I don't know why. It just Binks.
Miss Bee:Yeah. I don't know why, Heather. Yeah. I mean, I'm just baby.
El Jefe:That actually sounded like Yeardley Smith. It's the baby. So where where do we go from there though? Because we need they're both technically action films of a sort. One is sort of a martyrdom sort of revenge action film.
El Jefe:And the other one is sort of, I did some stupid shit and put myself in some absolute sci fi mess kind of thing. And they are now in the middle of a mountain town in Vermont going to school with no shop. He has to work at the local you know, he's never worked on a fucking, snowmobile a day in his life. So it's like into they
Miss Bee:get into, like, snowboarding or some shit.
El Jefe:So this is like a yeah. So it's like just outside of a ski town. So, what this this town is focused on, like, winter sports.
Miss Bee:Yeah.
El Jefe:That's what the school is heavily geared towards is winter sports and winter sports programs. That's where all the money goes. That's why they don't have a lot of shop programs.
Miss Bee:Okay.
El Jefe:Because you know how certain places they kind of specialize in one thing. It's like, okay, this school will will teach all about computers back in the eighties, Not a lot of computer programmers, if I'm not mistaken.
Miss Bee:Okay. It turns into a murder mystery.
El Jefe:Turns into a murder mystery. Okay. Who gets killed? Putter. Potter gets killed?
Miss Bee:Yep. Potter's gonna get got. And my phone just went on 20%. We gotta turn to the charger.
El Jefe:You you started this podcast without a charger attached?
Miss Bee:Yes.
El Jefe:Okay. Well, you're upside down.
Miss Bee:Upside down.
El Jefe:I mean, if you wanna stand on your head for the rest of the fucking podcast, you're more than welcome to do so, but I think it would be a little disorienting to anybody that watches. Yeah.
Miss Bee:Maybe. Okay. Butter gets killed, just after she gets to fucking Vermont and gets to meet up with Billie Jean and Banks and all them and just falls in love with Vinny.
El Jefe:Oh, no.
Miss Bee:And then it turns out
El Jefe:Not a murder mystery. Not a murder mystery. You know what this is? This is a straight up slasher film. Okay.
El Jefe:Alright. Got you. Because I'm gonna go with what you said when we were what we were talking about my science project, Sherman.
Miss Bee:It's fucking Sherman. So
El Jefe:With that group, with the- the- the four- the- I'm thinking the four main characters because of them all having involvement in what happened at that school, all of their families were offered the same opportunity. So you had Sherman that was moved up there who had a good life down there. And Ellie moves up there and she is completely enamored with Harlan, you know? And so the entire time now Harlan and him are going out and Sherman has just basically become the loner. Alright.
El Jefe:He has a taste for shooting that gun now. Yeah. And so that kinda gets him into research on other things. And I think and I'm giving away the plot here saying that Sherman basically becomes like this slasher and he starts going after friends and people associated with them, the full intent being to eventually kill Mike and take Ellie. Okay.
El Jefe:The first kill being putter.
Miss Bee:Just because he thinks she's annoying?
El Jefe:I don't I don't think it's because he thinks that she's I think that he we have to find a situation where Mike, sorry. Say Mike and Ellie are out on a date maybe. And in the same place that Billy ends up seeing, I guess, this is a like a diner kind of situation where a bus pulls in and off pops off pops putter. Yeah. Right?
El Jefe:So this being a place where all these people go to to eat, the town's kids come in and and have, you know, meals, you know, make it like the one of those old bullet diners from the nineteenth that were still kind of popular in the 1980s, where all the kids would gather. Yes. You don't see that a lot anymore. I told my I told my kids, I go, you have that massive disadvantage of there not being these kid oriented places. Like, I grew up with a lot of really good stuff.
El Jefe:There were still 18 and under clubs that kids could go to. We had the skating rink. We had arcades. We had a a cafe down the way called the UFI, the unidentified flying iguana that used to cater to kids. It was a cafe that had a bullet diner fused to the outside of it in Lafayette Square here.
El Jefe:And the Bullet Diner portion was actually the stage for a bunch of local bands that would come in and play.
Miss Bee:Okay. I didn't know about the unidentified flying iguana, but now
El Jefe:what? That shit anymore. Yeah. Kids don't have a lot of options.
Miss Bee:For us, I miss Gateland.
El Jefe:Right? Now it's a a large apartment complex over here. They they took it down. It's a large apartment complex. So the kids don't need to use roller skates.
El Jefe:I mean, yeah, I guess we need more expensive apartments for the Downtown Haverhill area that isn't already overflowing with kids in all their schools.
Miss Bee:Right.
El Jefe:Watch me dox myself on the podcast. Yeah. So I'm not gonna talk about the local surroundings anymore. Ignore me. And we'll basically say Binks Binksie, is basically hops off the bus and she sees she sees Billie Jean with Binks.
El Jefe:I say Binksie. It's it's it's Putter Putter. Gets off the bus and sees Binks and Billie Jean in the diner, and she's pulling her bag out from underneath the bus to to get go in and say hi.
Miss Bee:Pickle bag.
El Jefe:And out of the corner of her eye, she sees Sherman, who is basically sniper rifle and all, basically kinda hiding hiding off, under some shrubbery. She kinda sees the glint of the the rifle, and she's wondering what it is. And, you know, she's always the curious one, always puts herself right in the front of some danger and goes to figure out what
Miss Bee:Okay.
El Jefe:And she go she basically goes into her, what are you doing over here? I don't think that you should be doing that. You shouldn't be hiding under them brushes there. I don't think you should be trying to shoot people. And she basically goes off on a a rant to which he basically cuts her throat and kinda drags her off.
El Jefe:So she disturbs him, kinda gives away his cover, and that's the first kill. They don't even know that she Puttered dead. Died, that Puttered's dead until they see a police report on television basically saying that a, a woman was found, throat slashed in the woods. They, put up her picture, and that is when Billie Jean and Binks realize who it is and who got killed. And so now they're full in full on, you know, revenge mode.
El Jefe:You know? Do I have to shave my head again? No. I think she keeps the hairstyle. And so they're both in full on revenge mode again, and they're trying to figure out why she got killed.
El Jefe:We'll figure out the bread crumbs between point a and point b because now we have we know that
Miss Bee:And now we have to get fucking these guys involved, Harlan and Vinny and Ellie.
El Jefe:Well, I'm Sherman's still at the school. So Harlan and Vinny, the the basically, he he can just play coy. He can play stupid, you know, and just be part of the friend group. You know? This can be some straight up scream bullshit where the the the killers are hiding in plain sight amongst the friends.
El Jefe:You know? So Sherman, who's who's gotten a perchant for for killing, and it's just escalating from there. And mostly to to start off with these people that just get in his way of trying to kill Mike.
Miss Bee:And it keeps going wrong.
El Jefe:I wanna say I don't know. We I I I gotta think about how they would get from point a to point b, but I think that Binks and Billy find out what's going on and who it is.
Miss Bee:And And Binks tries go after him in a fucking huff.
El Jefe:Who they think it is. Right? So they have an idea who they think it is. They have an idea who the target is, but they don't have any solid evidence. And so they're they can't go to the cops about it.
El Jefe:They're in a situation where they can't pull the police in again. Where do we go?
Miss Bee:They use their fucking little underground communication line that they started in fucking Texas.
El Jefe:So, yeah, this is still back in the nineteen eighties we're talking about. So, obviously, we don't have computer communications all that much. It's all telephones and kinda kid to kid conversation.
Miss Bee:Yeah. Billy's persuasive.
El Jefe:How do they how do they break the news to Vinny, Mike, and Ellie? Like, buddy there is kind of a killer or your buddy's trying to kill you.
Miss Bee:I I think they'll be straight up about it. Your friend killed our friend.
El Jefe:I think we also find out that Sherman was absolute shit at being a journalist. So he's now in this journalism in Arizona where they were and journalism in Vermont are two completely different things. Yep. And so they don't even want him as part of the journalism club that they had there. Ellie falls right in with everybody.
El Jefe:She's great. But Sherman just sucks.
Miss Bee:I mean, yeah. But
El Jefe:he So now
Miss Bee:Oh, god. I wanna punch him in the face.
El Jefe:He's lonely in a new town with a with a taste for murder and can't even focus it on the thing that he normally would, which would be journalism, creative writing, because he's finding out that it was really Ellie that was kinda carrying him through all of it. Like, Ellie was the the his teacher, and she's not even interested in teaching him anymore because she's focused on Mike. Yeah.
Miss Bee:I'm I'm fucking struggling here, bud.
El Jefe:Billy and Binks don't know that it's Shervin. Billy and Binks know who the focus is. They find a manifesto of some sort Okay. And find out that somebody's trying to kill Michael. What?
El Jefe:Somebody's trying
Miss Bee:to kill me? Cabins, they find the manifesto in a cabin or some shit.
El Jefe:Oh, no. I they go I mean, they go to school with the kid. I think it's just sort of a a misplacement kind of thing. Know? One of those kind of sloppy, I dropped it out of my backpack or I got knocked down by the school jock and it flew across the room, you know, whatever.
El Jefe:You know, it it ends up side. Misplaces his manifesto and they don't exactly know that it's him, but they do know that Michael is the focus and that it is because of Ellie that this person wants him dead. And so they're trying to figure out how to approach it. Like, I'm wondering if this has anything to do with putter at all. It's because, you know, putter's dead.
El Jefe:Somebody's looking to kill Michael, you know, and this is a small, very quiet town, not a lot of murders going on. So it's not a far.
Miss Bee:So who's dying next?
El Jefe:I wanna say I wanna say Binks bites it next.
Miss Bee:Okay.
El Jefe:As much as I like Christian Slater, Binks is the kind that just like, I wanna say this, you know, Billy is the only one that really could carry herself. Binks is the kind of kid that kinda just throws himself into danger without much thought. He got the living shit beaten out of him. He got himself shot. I wanted to say that Binks Binks is the first one to kinda figure it out, like, kinda piece one and one together.
El Jefe:Like, maybe he sees the handwriting the the handwriting in the notebook and or and kinda they're in the same class for some reason and for some stupid reason. You know? Now Binks is too young to be in the same class.
Miss Bee:Binks tries to, like, confront him one on one and like, dude, I fucking like, I'm not an idiot. And that that I don't know. Sherman fucking
El Jefe:Binks overhears him panicking about a notebook that he
Miss Bee:lost. Okay.
El Jefe:And Binks kind of puts one and one together, and he's like, oh, wait. Is it is this that, the like a red spiral bound notebook that kinda has this writing on the outside?
Miss Bee:Well, he wouldn't ask questions. He'd be like, you fucking killed Potter.
El Jefe:Oh, no. But that him asking the questions right? Because he he asked the questions very, you know, not nonchalantly, but like aggressively. Right? Because he's like, if that's if this is what he's talking about, like he would accuse him.
El Jefe:And Sherman wanting to shut him up, like drags him into a bathroom or something and just drowns him in the toilet. Like basically just
Miss Bee:But yeah.
El Jefe:They have they have a whole scuffle and, he I want it's gotta be like, someplace that like bathroom that they don't normally use or they get into an argument in like a a classroom, an area of the school that is just not used all that often. He ends up trying to the guy in the toilet to shut him up because he's like, no, is this yours? And he's like, fucking shut up. And he's like, what? Did you see this?
El Jefe:He's trying to get the information out of him. And he's like basically, just a back and forth. He's like, oh, you're you're trying to you're trying to kill that kid, Michael, and and and but I'm not gonna let it happen. And then Sherman just basically they get into a scuffle, and Sherman drowns him in the toilet. Just
Miss Bee:And then walks out in a huff and fucking ditches cool.
El Jefe:Because it's the nineteen eighties, and I don't think they have a whole lot of video surveillance in the schools. They don't think about it. No. No. So you have a lot of slasher films that take place in schools because it was easy to kill the kids on the premises.
Miss Bee:Yes.
El Jefe:In the nineteen eighties anyway. Enough slasher films and like, maybe we should have kept put a camera in here so we can keep an eye on them dumb kids.
Miss Bee:I mean, we still got a bunch of kids dying at school now. But
El Jefe:Yeah. Yeah. But at least now they have evidence. Oh, we know who shot him. Why?
El Jefe:You see that right there? He shot him. That's we have the video. So I think Binks bites it next. I think the next on the the next on the list is going to be Vinny.
Miss Bee:And then fucking okay. Vinny's gonna Harlan and Ellie go full fucking rock.
El Jefe:So you yeah. You got Billy, you got Harlan, and you got Ellie. I want to say that Billy Billy doesn't have any interest in Michael, but Michael has interest in her. Michael just kind of being the guy because you know that he he he doesn't seem like a faithful guy to begin with. And initially, he was just using Ellie to kind of get back at his ex.
Miss Bee:Yeah. To fucking make Crystal jealous.
El Jefe:I don't think that, Mike would have been a good guy for her to begin with. And I think in the end, Michael dies. But that doesn't mean that Ellie and Billy don't take him out. Don't take Sherman out.
Miss Bee:I fucks with that. Good for her. Hers.
El Jefe:Because, I mean, you know, Vinny's constantly Vinny in this movie, he's constantly hitting on Billy who constantly turns him down because she's interested in Michael, which, again, he's in a situation where that a girl that he likes that he already hit on is interested in Michael.
Miss Bee:Okay. I fucked with this.
El Jefe:Which is also the reason why, what if what if Vinny what if we do pull a full screen?
Miss Bee:Oh my god. Vinny's in on it with Sherman?
El Jefe:Vinny's in on it with Sherman because this is a girl so Vinny is he is pissed because he is with a girl that he hit on before. So Michael had, Vinny had hit on Ellie previously, and she turned him down flat.
Miss Bee:She had a dare she.
El Jefe:And now he's in the middle of nowhere. And he's like, I'm tired of this. Like, every girl that I hit on goes for you or wants you. It doesn't have to have a fucking thing to do with me. And I was like, I might have something to do with you having that whole, I'm from Brooklyn.
El Jefe:Bam. Don't talk bad. You know? Don't talk back to me kinda attitude. And He doesn't wanna hear any of it because his father raised him to be that kinda guy.
El Jefe:Yeah. Maybe some mafioso blood in the family. You don't know. And I wanna say Vinny Vinny is kinda in on it a little bit, And I wanna say that Sherman ends up killing Vinny as soon as he's no longer useful to him.
Miss Bee:Okay.
El Jefe:So the whole thing is that Vinny Vinny is only in on it because he's like, you know what? I I'm pissed off. You know? Sherman's like, I'm pissed off. I wanna take out Michael.
El Jefe:That's all I'm interested in.
Miss Bee:Kinda like this murder by numbers thing.
El Jefe:When Vinny realizes, hey. You know, Sherman's gonna take him out. Now I'm gonna have a chance with either one of these girls because they're not gonna have Michael to fawn over anymore. And Sherman is sorta like, no. Wait.
El Jefe:That's not how this works. It's like, you're not gonna go after the girl that I'm in love with. It's like after I take out the guy that she fell for. Yeah. It's like, that's not how this works.
El Jefe:You don't get that girl. You can go after Billy. He goes, no, but I like Ellie. And Vinny's very adamant that he wants Ellie. You can have Billy.
El Jefe:I don't want I I I don't I don't wanna deal with that because he doesn't I don't picture Vinny wanting a strong woman like that.
Miss Bee:No. Absolutely not.
El Jefe:He he couldn't even remotely deal with that. Just like I don't think he could deal with with a putter. Like, I think that that girl would take him down real quick. So, like, these these women are like the bane of would be the bane of his existence, the women from, the the legend of Billie Jean. Like, nope.
El Jefe:Nope. Nope. Because I I like I said, his dad kinda raised him to be that kinda guy.
Miss Bee:Guy needs be in control.
El Jefe:Did you did you slap me? Oh. Oh, okay. Honey. Fuck no.
El Jefe:No. We're gonna burn your store down. You know, this Yeah. That kind of attitude. So I think that in the end, he takes Vinnie out because Vinnie presents himself as direct competition.
El Jefe:It's like, even if I take out Michael, I'm still gonna have to deal with this guy. Yeah. So he's basically like, thank you. You've been useful. I've, I've already I think that Michael bites it first and then he kills Vinny.
Miss Bee:Okay.
El Jefe:Because now that Michael's out of the way, Vinny thinks he's gonna get Ellie because, you know, it's like, okay. Well, you know, I'm gonna console
Miss Bee:her. She's gonna
El Jefe:cry on my shoulder, then, know, bada bing bada boom. You know? And this
Miss Bee:Billy and Ellie, they've been hanging out and doing their own fucking journalism shit and building up their little army of teenagers again. And they walk in on these two Vinny and Sherman fighting. They find Vinny dead. Sherman's fucking dull bloodied up and tries to pull out a bullshit lie and Ellie knows him well enough to be like, no.
El Jefe:Sherman's big mistake is basically underestimating Billy in the whole situation because I don't think that Ellie is gonna put up much of a fight.
Miss Bee:Yeah. No. Bill Billy beats the fuck out of him and then leaves him in the building to burn.
El Jefe:I think it it goes back and forth. I think Billy beats the fucking shit out of him. And this is after him basically kind of pushing Ellie out of the way to fight with Billy. And Ellie's kind of kind of feeling a little soft and meek in the situation, realizing that Billy's willing to put up a fight. When Billy finally gets knocked down, that's when Ellie lands the final blow and takes him
Miss Bee:out. So,
El Jefe:basically, he gets the shit beaten out of him, but Ellie comes from behind him not suspecting Ellie of of being the kind of person that would try to take him down. So he just underestimates her altogether and her being inspired like all the other kids from the the legend of Billy Gene movie. Like, she didn't cut her hair, but
Miss Bee:Let's have her cut her hair.
El Jefe:Let's have that be like the end credits.
Miss Bee:Yes. They're just Just
El Jefe:the end credits. Like, they're they're doing they have the whole Pat Benatar song playing over the end credits. And, basically, she turns she's cutting her hair and then turns her around, and it's just, you know, they freeze frame on her smiling with the new haircut. You
Miss Bee:know? Yes.
El Jefe:That's how we tie up the the legend of Billie Jean two. Could that even be what this is though? Can you call it? Ski murders. Ski murders.
El Jefe:Well, you have to have something that's likened. It can't be my science project too. It can't be the legend of Billie Jean. Like the project of Billie Jean or something something stupid like that. It's got or it could just be it could just be the legend of Billie Jean too.
El Jefe:I'm trying to think of a name. I could I should have come up with names on how to mash these two fucking things up. But honestly, when I was thinking about it, I was thinking about it as just a fucking romance triangle comedy. I didn't think slasher film to start off with.
Miss Bee:It's always gonna be a slasher.
El Jefe:It wasn't until you mentioned that he acted like a real, like, no, he was definitely a scold shooter. Right. It was it wasn't until you mentioned that mentality that I went off and I'm thinking he could be a serial killer in the sequel.
Miss Bee:Absolutely. He
El Jefe:could definitely be a serial killer. So well, it's a little it could be like the legend of Billie Jean two, the serial killer project or something silly like that.
Miss Bee:Was thinking something like that.
El Jefe:It can't I'm gonna say it can't be my science project because there's no science in this. We're not bringing up another science, but it's just the characters from the legend of Billie Jean and the my science project movie.
Miss Bee:The Billie Jean project?
El Jefe:Oh, the or or we could go the other way. So what do we have here? It's my science project, Ellie Sawyer. So, the legend of Billie Jean two Sawyer's revenge.
Miss Bee:Okay.
El Jefe:Because Sawyer's the one that ends up getting the the the final kill, and they're like, wait a minute. Sawyer's revenge. What does that have to do with anything? So all of the promotions for this the promotional work for this has to basically show little clips from each one of these movies. And then, you know, there's a serial killer at, you know, from name your Vermont high school here.
El Jefe:You know? There's a serial killer stalking the halls of, you know, Billie Jean and Ellie Sawyer have been moved to the mountain town of blah blah blah and are trying to forget the mistakes of their past and yada yada. I I don't have a whole thing stuck in my head because I wasn't thinking that. I was thinking romantic comedy kind of bullshit. And I did not think scream slasher film, but both of these movies had a certain amount of intensity.
El Jefe:Yes. My science project was sci fi, but more comedy. And yes, Legend of Billie Jean was sort of a romantic movie, but more revenge film.
Miss Bee:I wouldn't say it's a romantic. Would definitely. I mean, they had a couple of cute moments, but like this was definitely a good for her movie.
El Jefe:But they also I mean, they had I didn't think that it had to have that romantic undertone. I don't think that
Miss Bee:It didn't.
El Jefe:If you pulled the the Lloyd romance out of that film, it still would have been a great film.
Miss Bee:Exactly.
El Jefe:But they leaned into several moments where it was sort of like a romantic thriller. You know? Was a sort of a teen romantic thriller. So, say yeah. You know what I'm saying.
El Jefe:I'm I'm going over my tongue now. That's why my brain kinda was like, okay, if we remove the sci fi and we remove the thriller from it, what do you still have? And you basically got two teen romantic comedies where the two teens have their
Miss Bee:I mean, yeah.
El Jefe:Romantic counterpart. So you have the the Lloyd and Billy thing and you have the Ellie and Michael thing.
Miss Bee:Think of Lloyd as a very minor part.
El Jefe:He he was, essentially. But, I mean, that's why I had it says it has room I say it has romantic undertones. It's it's a more of a revenge film, more of a thriller than anything else, but it does have its romantic side.
Miss Bee:Hi, girls.
El Jefe:Which was not necessary.
Miss Bee:It was not.
El Jefe:So that's why I think I I liked you saying that that kid's definitely a school shooter because now we're gonna make him an actual school shooter. Sawyer's revenge. Alright. But of course, you would have to have seen or been one of the few that had seen this movie way back when. Back in the nineteen eighties, because it doesn't look like a lot of people watched my science project.
El Jefe:I'm not sure. I'm gonna go check Billy's numbers here because I'm not sure if Billy's numbers were better. I know this movie has been fairly well buried for a while. Like I actually, Billy's numbers were worse. Legend of Billie Jean had a $3,000,000 worldwide gross.
Miss Bee:Jeez.
El Jefe:All I can see is an n now, miss b.
Miss Bee:Yeah. No. I, I had to respond to my buddy who I'm going to the concert with.
El Jefe:Oh, yes. Yes. I forgot that we are trying to, kinda speed through to the end even though technically two hours is not necessarily speeding. No. So any final thoughts on either of these films?
Miss Bee:Honestly, I really fucking enjoyed Billie Jean. I'm gonna probably watch it again when I could pay more attention and, like, get more in.
El Jefe:Hey. I have
Miss Bee:a Blu ray talk if you wanna is at best?
El Jefe:Like I said, without Vinny in that movie, my science project wouldn't have been a tolerable film. It would have been a two, maybe a three. You know, it's it's Vinny, Fisher Stevens being in that film, the comedy that he threw out there. He's a he's a fantastic character actor and just fucking funny as hell. And I think, like, all the lines that he just spit out that entire film were what made my science project a good film.
Miss Bee:Facts. And, honestly, Vinny carried the shit out of that movie.
El Jefe:So, kudos to Fisher Stevens. Maybe Vinnie should get his own movie. Yes. I'll watch it. I mean, personally, after watching this film, I would've cast him in, my cousin Vinnie.
El Jefe:I mean, like, you were talking about you were talking about Pesci playing his dad. Yeah. You know? He could have been like his his well, Pesci was kinda young. He was young back then.
El Jefe:He could have been like his annoying kid brother. Like Vinny and Vinny. Like, don't this is Vinny. This is I'm Vinny with an I. This is Vinny with a y.
Miss Bee:They're cousins.
El Jefe:Or it's Vinny with an I e. Well, no. Because the cousin was, Ralph Macchio. Oh, he could have stepped in Ralph Macchio shoes. Could have had Fisher Stevens instead of Ralph Macchio.
El Jefe:Nothing against Ralph Macchio, but, actually, I'm not gonna say nothing against Ralph Macchio because I really haven't liked a lot of his stuff. Like, I think yeah. I I watched him in a few things, and it's like, I I I didn't watch those movies for Ralph Macchio. I didn't watch Karate Kid for Ralph Macchio. I watched it for NABGA.
El Jefe:I watched it for Pat Morita. You know, those were I loved I loved both of them. You know, I didn't watch the Outsiders because Ralph Macchio happened to be in that film. You know? But
Miss Bee:I forgot he was even in that.
El Jefe:Yeah. That was like an early Patrick Swayze film. I watched it for Swayze. Yeah. You know, that's a that was a good film.
El Jefe:I think they had a lot of people in there. I think they had, like, Emilio Estevez was in that. I think we had, oh god. What is his name? Matt Dillon was in that.
El Jefe:A lot of people. But like I said, yeah, you could take, Vinny and put him across from the guy that played Vinny, and you woulda had a a pretty funny movie. Yeah. My cousin Vinny is a fucking excellent film. You know, Marisa Tomei, I believe, won an Oscar as support best supporting actress for that, if I'm not mistaken.
Miss Bee:I wouldn't know. You wouldn't know? Probably.
El Jefe:Have you ever watched my cousin Vinny?
Miss Bee:Yeah. I have. I love that whole fucking rant she goes on in the courthouse about, like, the the the car axle and shit.
El Jefe:So, yeah, I mean, you can see why she won an Oscar for that role, but weird for anybody to give an Oscar for a comedy film because you don't see it happen all that often. No. You know, romance, comedies, those things kinda fly under the radar for the most part. Alright. Well, you can find our podcast pretty much anywhere podcasts are found.
El Jefe:We are up on Twitter. We are well, I still have trouble calling it x. We are up on Facebook.
Miss Bee:They like to change names of things and then yell about other people changing names of things. And
El Jefe:it is what it is. We are up on, yeah, blue sky, Instagram. We are pretty much everywhere. Just type our name into your Google feeds and have some fun. And we are doing video as you can see on YouTube now.
El Jefe:So like, share, subscribe, do the thing. And as miss b always says
Miss Bee:Drink some fucking water, you thirsty bitches.
